Little bets

Do you keep “little bets” with yourself? They seem so childish – but I always catch myself betting something against something!

  • If this works out – I’m going to do that.
  • If I find that perfect shoe – I’m going to buy that dress I fell in love with.
  • If he texts me first – he likes me too.

And you know…

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Here’s to the lucky ones!

I loathe festivals. I LOVE the festive spirit all over with Diwali round the corner – the neighborhood is all decked up with decor and all the shops look lighted and welcoming. I totally feel delighted up until the actual day of the festival – decorating our place, shopping, cooking, lighting lamps – I hate the particular day of Diwali. It’s like, anticipation is better than arrival.


We made these gel sparkly candles. Pretty, aren’t they?🙂

Invariably, we have no one to celebrate Diwali with us any year. Mum is at native – she can’t travel. We don’t have the time to travel to her place. Almost all friends leave for hometowns and it just gets so lonely. It sucks to be alone on festivals, especially Diwali.

I’m still okay to be alone on a Valentine’s Day (not that okay, but you get the idea, right?) – not Diwali. That’s meant to be spent with people. Growing up too, Diwali (including all other festivals too) used to be boring.


I realize there are way more unfortunate people than us in the world. Without a doubt, if there’s one thing we have learned out of all struggles of life is – to be grateful in all times.

To all those who have friends, family and loved ones to celebrate life with you – I hope you know you’re super lucky, guys.

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When you can’t relate to your own self

Do you ever shiver thinking of the challenges you’ve overcome?

I mean, when I recall or am reminded of the hardships we faced in our lives – I cannot even believe we survived it.  It’s like, there was a clone who went through all of these horrid experiences and then suddenly it’s us today. All new and with no (visible) traces of agony.

Do your very own past struggles seem so alien to you now – that you can’t relate to yourself? Sure, some memories fade. It’s not just about that. It’s not about faint memories you can’t remember. It’s about how you can’t imagine – you – the same you you see every day in the mirror- emerged alive from those seemingly never-ending struggles and daylight horrors of a dysfunctional family (or whatever you defined as hell.)


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Have you been there? Where you finally know what hell must be like? []

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The deal with swearing

So here’s the thing (I feel) about swearing. Don’t overuse it. When you starting saying qtiyapa, bullship, fudge you, excessively in day-to-day conversations (read: in every other sentence you speak) – it loses its effectiveness.

I mean, for me, if you remark “what qtiyapa!” – then the matter HAS to be 100% pure BS. Nothing short of it.

If the situation calls for it – I’ll give you a (mental/virtual) high-five on saying “what qtiyapanti!”.

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As soon as I sense that you’re simply throwing around this highly valuable and irreplaceable cuss word – you lose a bit of my respect.

Swear words lose their quintessential sting if used overtly. Plus, people will start to believe your vocabulary is real poor. (Now, no worries if you don’t mind people thinking that about you.)

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Die Another Day | Suicidal Thoughts

I have been Googling about suicidal thoughts (yea, judge me all you can) and gosh oh my – is there such a trash load of content on the web. Everyone just mentioned one thing – don’t do it. I mean, it only aggravated me. For once, I wanted to read somewhere – you want to die? “Go and die”. I mean, if only someone said that on my face – I may be actually compelled to stop for a moment and analyze my life.

But no. What I could find was only – don’t do this, don’t think “negative”, suicide is just your excuse, you’re ‘escaping’. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Here’s to everyone out there with suicidal thoughts – I say for once – you want to kill yourself? Go and do that. (Please continue to read further.)

Is this something you were hoping to read somewhere? Now that you’ve read your worst decision aloud – go get yourself some coffee. We’ll die another day, my friend. Another day.

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Safety (is) in your hands

As much as I think the Hindu festival of raksha bandhan is adorable and definitely one of its kind in the entire world – I can’t help think how it’s also somewhat sexist in nature.

As per the tradition, the sister ties a band around the brother’s wrist and  he in turn pledges to protect her at all times. Hmm. Doesn’t this superimpose the importance of the male gender over the female?

So, we should basically, look up to one section of males to protect us and be wary of the other section lest we may be raped off of our self-respect.

I get a feeling – a festival with this sort of underlying theme may become extinct/irrelevant in future.

Happy raksha bandhan to all. Remember, ladies – before you vest your safety in another person -safety is in your hands first.

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(Happy) Birthday List

While I am a little bummed because it’s late evening and a few friends have not yet called (*hello guys?! C’mon make that call guys!), here’s is my list for the next year. As often happens – I am able to achieve goals that I write down – here’s hoping (touch wood!) the below birthday list (I don’t want to say resolutions because when I call it “resolutions” I start to fear I’ll break them) will be achievable:

  • Make peace with the past and present (and why even the future!)
  • Enjoy the little things even more (such as a good dinner on a cool evening)
  • Continue to be always grateful (always, always, always)
  • Shun comparing (of any sorts, with anybody)
  • Religiously read for thirty minutes every day
  • Think and write down new ideas
  • Pursue higher studies (can’t wait to get started)
  • Grow network of interesting people
  • Write a Quora answer every day? (at least every other day?)
  • Good health (dental, (mental!), physical)
  • NFEOW & GBJs (secret self to -do ;))
  • Finally – take it easy, baby!

Here’s to a great birthday to us❤

*Update: Friend called soon after I wrote this. Awesome!



A time like that

Needless to say, I am flattered with all the enthusiasm surrounding the upcoming International Women’s Day (IWD). I can’t help thinking there comes a time when we don’t need to celebrate a women’s day. Don’t get me wrong please. I am all for uplift and celebration of womanhood.

It sends shiver down my spine to even read of the times (unfortunately, there are places on the earth where this is still a reality) – when women couldn’t vote, run marathons, work in a daytime job, write books under their own (female) names for the fear of being derided, wear bathing suits and what not. Man! (Pun intended) what a long way we have come, dear ladies. No doubt we have to go even further.

All I wish there comes a time (even if I don’t live long enough to see those days) where we don’t need to celebrate a “women’s day” – a time when women become so “mainstream” – you don’t need a single day to recognize them.

Or at least – even as we continue to celebrate the women’s day – the underlying theme could improve. For e.g. the primary idea behind celebrating International Men’s day is increasing awareness about men’s health. Likewise, for us women celebrating the women’s day in future could mean more than just being at par with men.

Here’s to all the ladies (and gentlemen too if you will!) – don’t you ever just sometimes wish for a time like that?


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When all that remains is…

When all that remains is…
A few of the books you loved
Some hand-written notes, now tattered
An album of discolored old photographs
And memories that fade a little every day…


A nightmare

I had the scariest nightmare last night.

You were being taken to a hospital and I was just called in to inform to reach there soon. Not knowing what’s going on I made rush to reach the hospital as soon as I could.

I reached the hospital and was pointed to a room upon inquiring about you.

I neared the doctor coming out of that room and even before I could catch a breath, I saw a stretcher being pushed behind the doctor when he told me – “I’m sorry”.

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