Category Archives: Personal

A letter to December

You’re here. With the first day of the last month of the Georgian calendar.

I want to cling on to you, December and not let you go. Why do you always seem to come around and leave so soon? Stay, my friend, can’t you?

Every time I realise you’re here, I go into a retrospective mood and the memories of the past 334 days gone by start to flash in the mind with mixed emotions of happiness, achievement, sadness and a pinch of regret (just a teeny-tiny bit). It’s a strange nostalgia. You make me miss my home even while I am at home.

I hope you know you’re beautiful, December. You bring with you festivities (including long holidays, of course! ) and warmth. (Except in the southern hemisphere of the planet where you’re probably too warm.)

Don’t go, December. Wait a bit, a little longer. Can’t we slow down our watches and do away with the calendars?

Till as long as you’re here,
Happy you to everyone.

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Here’s to the lucky ones!

I loathe festivals. I LOVE the festive spirit all over with Diwali round the corner – the neighborhood is all decked up with decor and all the shops look lighted and welcoming. I totally feel delighted up until the actual day of the festival – decorating our place, shopping, cooking, lighting lamps – I hate the particular day of Diwali. It’s like, anticipation is better than arrival.

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We made these gel sparkly candles. Pretty, aren’t they? 🙂

Invariably, we have no one to celebrate Diwali with us any year. Mum is at native – she can’t travel. We don’t have the time to travel to her place. Almost all friends leave for hometowns and it just gets so lonely. It sucks to be alone on festivals, especially Diwali.

I’m still okay to be alone on a Valentine’s Day (not that okay, but you get the idea, right?) – not Diwali. That’s meant to be spent with people. Growing up too, Diwali (including all other festivals too) used to be boring.

Shucks.

I realize there are way more unfortunate people than us in the world. Without a doubt, if there’s one thing we have learned out of all struggles of life is – to be grateful in all times.

To all those who have friends, family and loved ones to celebrate life with you – I hope you know you’re super lucky, guys.

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When you can’t relate to your own self

Do you ever shiver thinking of the challenges you’ve overcome?

I mean, when I recall or am reminded of the hardships we faced in our lives – I cannot even believe we survived it.  It’s like, there was a clone who went through all of these horrid experiences and then suddenly it’s us today. All new and with no (visible) traces of agony.

Do your very own past struggles seem so alien to you now – that you can’t relate to yourself? Sure, some memories fade. It’s not just about that. It’s not about faint memories you can’t remember. It’s about how you can’t imagine – you – the same you you see every day in the mirror- emerged alive from those seemingly never-ending struggles and daylight horrors of a dysfunctional family (or whatever you defined as hell.)

 

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Have you been there? Where you finally know what hell must be like? [Image:Crosswalk.com]

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(Happy) Birthday List

While I am a little bummed because it’s late evening and a few friends have not yet called (*hello guys?! C’mon make that call guys!), here’s is my list for the next year. As often happens – I am able to achieve goals that I write down – here’s hoping (touch wood!) the below birthday list (I don’t want to say resolutions because when I call it “resolutions” I start to fear I’ll break them) will be achievable:

  • Make peace with the past and present (and why even the future!)
  • Enjoy the little things even more (such as a good dinner on a cool evening)
  • Continue to be always grateful (always, always, always)
  • Shun comparing (of any sorts, with anybody)
  • Religiously read for thirty minutes every day
  • Think and write down new ideas
  • Pursue higher studies (can’t wait to get started)
  • Grow network of interesting people
  • Write a Quora answer every day? (at least every other day?)
  • Good health (dental, (mental!), physical)
  • NFEOW & GBJs (secret self to -do ;))
  • Finally – take it easy, baby!

Here’s to a great birthday to us ❤

*Update: Friend called soon after I wrote this. Awesome!

 

 

A time like that

Needless to say, I am flattered with all the enthusiasm surrounding the upcoming International Women’s Day (IWD). I can’t help thinking there comes a time when we don’t need to celebrate a women’s day. Don’t get me wrong please. I am all for uplift and celebration of womanhood.

It sends shiver down my spine to even read of the times (unfortunately, there are places on the earth where this is still a reality) – when women couldn’t vote, run marathons, work in a daytime job, write books under their own (female) names for the fear of being derided, wear bathing suits and what not. Man! (Pun intended) what a long way we have come, dear ladies. No doubt we have to go even further.

All I wish there comes a time (even if I don’t live long enough to see those days) where we don’t need to celebrate a “women’s day” – a time when women become so “mainstream” – you don’t need a single day to recognize them.

Or at least – even as we continue to celebrate the women’s day – the underlying theme could improve. For e.g. the primary idea behind celebrating International Men’s day is increasing awareness about men’s health. Likewise, for us women celebrating the women’s day in future could mean more than just being at par with men.

Here’s to all the ladies (and gentlemen too if you will!) – don’t you ever just sometimes wish for a time like that?

 

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When all that remains is…

When all that remains is…
A few of the books you loved
Some hand-written notes, now tattered
An album of discolored old photographs
And memories that fade a little every day…

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A nightmare

I had the scariest nightmare last night.

You were being taken to a hospital and I was just called in to inform to reach there soon. Not knowing what’s going on I made rush to reach the hospital as soon as I could.

I reached the hospital and was pointed to a room upon inquiring about you.

I neared the doctor coming out of that room and even before I could catch a breath, I saw a stretcher being pushed behind the doctor when he told me – “I’m sorry”.

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I now know why

I now know why I loved you so hard when I loved you. It’s because I loved you how ever much I could love you in an entire lifetime – in the little time we had together.

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Confessions of a (Hindi) radio listener

If there’s one early invention I love it has to be the radio! I like listening to the radio better than watching the TV any day. The beauty of the radio is in its simplicity. You tune in – you enjoy. And while you feel connected to a particular place when you set a local channel, you can feel equally connected to the world at large when you tune into a remote channel. Here’s what goes through my mind while I’m listening to any of one the various Hindi radio channels: Disclaimer: All offence. Kidding. No offence of course!

Confessions of a radio listener

Listening to the radio is always cool :)

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A love letter

A letter I’ll hand-write for you when I find you.

My dear love

I’ve waited too long for you to even remember how long. And oh how I have longed to sit in your arms, under the shade of a tree and see the sun go down.

I haven’t thought of sweet names to call you. I do want to tell you many things.

I searched for you in different people – which was pathetic – because they were not you. I had a picture of you in my head which was mostly based on the movies we see and the books we read. I often wondered if you’d look like this guy I saw in the office or that guy I met at the store. All I knew is that you’d treat me right baby. And you do. Every single bit.

Love letter

A love letter…I can’t wait to write!

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